Midnight Sun, Continued
by TwighlightCrazyRN7
Summary: While eagerly awaiting the real thing I'm trying my hand at writing it myself. This is Twilight from Edward's POV. It starts with chapter 2 since Stephanie Meyer the real author already wrote chapter 1.
1. Open Book

2

2. Open Book

I sped across the highway at a speed that was too fast…even for me. I pressed on as though Bella Swan herself was on my heels. The black pavement all but disappeared beneath me. After a brief discussion with Carlisle I had decided to leave town, not to tempt fate, or myself. Just as Alice had said I would. I had been on the road for less than four hours but I was already halfway into Northern Canada. My thoughts briefly drifted to my family. What had Alice told the others? Was Esme terribly upset? I was too far away to hear them. It made me feel disconnected. But I knew them too well to not know the answers to my questions, my fears. Alice would have told them everything, of course and Esme would naturally be heartbroken, we were like her children.

At dawn the next day I was coming into Denali, Alaska. I remembered easily where to find Tanya and her family. The scents were familiar to me, the thoughts as well. All too quickly I picked up on how pleased she was to see me. They welcomed me warmly and I immediately went hunting. After I had fed I spent the next two days in my room, alone.

I was sitting at the window reading on the third night when there was an almost silent knock at my door. I listened and could hear the thoughts outside. _I must be crazy, what am I thinking…_they belonged to Tanya.

"Come in," I called. She opened the door and entered. She came to stand by my chair and gaze down at me.

"What happened at home, Edward? Why are you here?" her questions were only a diversion, I could already hear in her mind that our conversation would take a turn in a direction I did not desire.

"I encountered someone I couldn't resist hunting. I didn't want to ruin things for my family." I vaguely gave her the idea.

"You could stay here forever. Carlisle and the others could come back of course." She raised a hand and placed it on my face. " I could make you forget her." I closed my eyes and thought about that concept for a moment. What if I never went back to Forks? Bella Swan would forget me soon enough and I her. No, that was a lie and I knew it. There was something in her chocolate eyes that I knew I wanted to see again. For the last three days I had thought only of her. Of different ways to kill her and of different, more human things I could do with her. I shook my head.

"Tanya, I am very fond of you and your family, we all are. But I'm afraid that my affections do not go beyond fondness." Her mind went blank for a brief moment, digesting what I had just said. _Why? What do I not have that he needs? Is the human? No, it couldn't be, he's too good for her, he should be with me._

"Oh, I…" she was wrestling with how to handle my rejection. "I'm sorry, I only thought that…" she quickly turned and left the room. I rested my head against the back of my chair. Tanya was of course a close friend of ours but I knew that I could never feel anything but that for her. Then another thought crept into my head, Tanya had suggested that I never return to Forks. Was that something I would actually consider? The hatred for Bella Swan came rushing back to me. Who was this insignificant little human to run me out of my town, my hunting ground? The place where my family and I had come to call our home. We had been there longer than she. I stood abruptly as though realization had hit me. No, I would not let her drive me away. I could conquer my thirst and I could return to my family. The resolution swept over me fresh and new. I had made up my mind.

Two days later I left Denali again. I made it home by Sunday evening. Esme and Carlisle welcomed me back with open arms, of course. They always gave me more than I deserved. I decided I would return to school on Monday. The others were on alert and aware of my behavior, keeping a constant watch on me. Alice, always looking just ahead into the future to make sure there was nothing to fear.

Monday dawned and we headed for school. The first half of the day passed without incident. Lunch was the same, our same props of food we never ate. Then I heard it, the familiar ramblings of Jessica Stanley. I look towards the doors of the cafeteria and there was Bella Swan, with Jessica. I turned my head away, keeping my eyes on her in my periphery. She looked over towards our table almost automatically. I realized she had done that everyday that I had been away. She couldn't be checking for me could she? They moved through the line and went to the table I had first seen her sitting at last week.

Was I still unable to read her thoughts? I permitted myself to look at her. She was staring down at her tray of food, avoiding us probably. _Oh my God, Edward's looking at me…_came Jessica's misplaced thoughts. Then she came to her senses. _Oh, he's just looking at Bella. Why, she's not even that pretty and she's not very exciting either. _I heard her inform Bella Swan that I was staring at her. I heard her ask if I looked angry. Jessica was confused, I could tell. I turned my head to smile. Humans were so clueless. If they only knew.

Alice had seen me look at Bella. _What are you thinking? _Her mind asked me. I shrugged and then shook my head, just slightly. I spent the rest of lunch staring at Bella Swan, nothing. I couldn't hear anything. I knew Biology was next where the temptation would be the strongest. Would I be able to endure her smell? The five of us walked silently towards the buildings. It was snowing. Emmett and Jasper were throwing at one another, like most of the human males around us. Alice and Rosalie dodged the snow and grumbled about getting their hair wet. I walked alone to Biology.

When I entered the room, I saw that Bella Swan was already there. I steadied myself and went to my seat. She didn't move and inch as I sat down.

"Hello," I said as gently as I could. "My name is Edward Cullen." She just looked at me with a confused expression on her face. The thirst burned in my throat as her scent moved into me. I clenched my fists and tried to relax. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan." I already knew but said it anyway. She stared at me for another minute, the confusion obvious on her face. The monster in my head taunted me but I found I was able to ignore it.

"H-how do you know my name?" she stammered. Who didn't know her name?

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive." _Especially the boys. _I thought to myself. She looked disappointed and grimaced slightly.

"No, I meant why did you call me Bella?" _Oops._

"Do you prefer Isabella?" I tried to sound innocent.

"No, I like Bella," she continued to ramble on something about Charlie Swan but I didn't hear anything more. I studied the shape of her eyes, the curve of her neck. I looked over her soft body. _I wonder what she feels like._ I let myself wonder. I quickly reined in that thought and went back to focusing on what she said. But she was already finished with her thought so I let it drop with a simple "Oh," as my reply.

Mr. Banner was beginning class. I already knew from his thoughts what today's class would be. We were going to identify the phases of mitosis with slides on a microscope. _Alright let's see how smart you are, Bella Swan. _I thought to myself.

"Ladies first, partner?" I asked. She looked up at me and didn't respond. Was she okay? Did she see something in my eyes that made her afraid? "Or I could start, if you wish?" I expected to take the microscope from her and start the lab with her just staring at me in fear. But she snapped out of her trance suddenly.

"No, I'll go ahead." Her face flushed with her warm blood and for a second her smell was more potent than usual. I was surprised. She skillfully place the first slide in the microscope and to my amazement adjusted it automatically to the 40X objective. She looked at the slide for maybe three seconds before she said, "Prophase," with confidence in her voice.

"Do you mind if I look?" I was sure she was wrong. She had already begun to move the slide. I stopped her without thinking. My hand touched hers and burned through my skin. Chills went through me and my lips parted with desire. I quickly pulled my hand back. "I'm sorry," I quickly grabbed the microscope, hoping she wouldn't notice the effect her touch had had on me. No one in the class knew what they were doing, did she? I looked into the lenses. Damn, she was right. "Prophase," I agreed. I quickly moved onto the next slide, hoping I would distract myself from her scent and the memory of her touch. "Anaphase," I said.

"May I?" she asked with a flat tone. _Touch,. _I thought. She was bold and for some unknown reason, that intrigued me. Suddenly I wanted to be finished with our work so I could ask her questions and talk with her. She finished with the slide and held out her hand, "Slide three?" she said. I placed it in her open palm, careful not to touch her skin again. She looked at this slide even more quickly than the first. "Interphase" she said as she passed me the microscope. I took a quick look and wrote it down.

We were finished before anyone else. I thought we would be. I stared at her still trying to hear her. There was nothing, this was impossible and frustrating. Why couldn't I hear her? She looked over at me slowly, as though she could feel my eyes on her. She looked straight into my eyes and studied them, without fear.

"Did you get contacts?" she blurted out. How did she know? How could she tell they were different?

"No," I replied as nonchalantly as I could.

"Oh, I thought there was something different about your eyes." She said. Why was she looking at my eyes anyway? She should be too afraid to make eye contact with me. I shrugged and looked away from her; trying to brush her off. I saw her look down at my clenched fists. She had no clue why they were clenched so tightly I was sure but I still worried she knew something no one else did.

At that moment Mr. Banner came over to our table. _I know who did all the work here, _he thought smugly. "So Edward, didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?" I looked at him with sudden distaste that he had inferred her lesser intellect.

"Bella," I said, "actually she identified three of the five." I informed him, let him do with that what he will. _A perfect match, then, Mr. Genius. _I could have growled and him but restrained myself. He turned to Bella.

"Have you done this lab before?" he asked. His assumption for some reason angered me. Why did I feel the need to shield this girl from the malicious people at the school? She looked embarrassed.

"Not with onion root," she said and I suppressed a laugh.

"Whitefish bastula?" he asked, thinking he was the expert on Biology.

"Yeah," she clearly did not enjoy being the center of attention.

"Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?" he searched for a reason for her less than average knowledge of his subject.

"Yes."

"Well, I guess it's good you two are lab partners," he said and then added under his breath, "Stupid teenagers, if I ever leave this place so help me." Bella had no idea what he'd just said and he didn't know I did either. He was a bitter forty-something single man who was unhappy and didn't care if other people were as well. She went back to doodling on her notebook and not looking at me.

"It's too bad about the snow," I said pointing out the window at the clear ground; giving no hint that the snow had ever existed.

"Not really," she answered. Her honesty surprised me.

"You don't like the cold?" I asked her, curious.

"Or the wet," she answered. _You're living in the wrong place then._ I thought.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live," I made my verbal statement nicer than my thought. I was amused though at the thought of someone who hated rain and cold living here. There had to be a reason.

"You have no idea," she said, probably without thinking.

"Why did you come here then?" I thought the question came out a little too blunt and I feared it would hurt her. She looked over at me as though it was the first time anyone had asked her that.

"It's…..complicated." _Try me, _my mind dared.

"I think I can keep up," I pressed, now I was really intrigued.

"My mom got remarried," _Oh that explains it, not her choice_. I would be relieved that the mystery was solved and she really wasn't as interesting as I thought.

"That doesn't sound so complex. When did that happen?"

"Last September," she replied, not eager to give information.

"And you don't like him," I guessed.

"No, Phil's fine. Too young, maybe, but nice enough." If she only knew how old I really was.

"Why didn't you stay with them?" I pressed her on but I knew that she would have been perfectly happy to leave it at that. She looked at me as though she couldn't understand why I cared.

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living."

"Have I heard of him," a smile I couldn't stop appeared.

"Probably not. He doesn't play well. Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot."

"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him." I guessed again. But I knew instantly from her expression that I was not only wrong, I had crossed the line.

"No, she did not send me here. I sent myself." Her voice was tight and cross.

I frowned, confused. "I don't understand" clearly frustrated.

Bella sighed then explained, "She stayed with me at first, but she missed him. It made her unhappy…so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie." I never would have guessed her to be self-sacrificing. Most teenagers were not.

"But now you're unhappy." I knew I was right about that.

"And?" she said, a slight edge on her voice.

"That doesn't seem fair," why did I care what was fair to her?

"Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair." I grimaced at her. She had no idea how familiar with that fact I was. I glared at her now.

"I believe I have heard that somewhere before," I turned away from her gaze.

"So that's all," did she not want our conversation to end? I couldn't tell.

"You put on a good show." I told her. "But I'd be willing to bet you're suffering a lot more than you let anyone see." I didn't know why but I suddenly longed to make her not suffer. I suddenly wanted her to be happy. She all but stuck her tongue out at me, and I knew I was right. "Am I wrong?" I challenged her. She didn't respond. "I didn't think so," I was a little annoyed.

"Why does it matter to you?" her question mirrored my mind's own thoughts.

"That's a very good question." I turned away from her again. She was very smug, a little brassy and I like it. I finally felt a twinge of guilt that I had been harsh to her. "Am I annoying you?" I offered. She looked up at me quickly and responded naturally.

"Not really, I'm more annoyed with myself. My face is so easy to read- my mother calls me her open book." She frowned slightly. If she only knew how much of a mystery she was to me.

"On the contrary I find you very difficult to read." She was the first mystery I had ever come across, a true enigma. I still had no idea why that was.

"You must be a good reader then," she told me. I smirked, she had no idea how right she was.

"Usually," I replied. Then Mr. Banner took his place at the front of the class and began ranting on about what we were looking for and what we should have seen. Bella looked a little bored. I was so edgy after our conversation that I didn't hear anything he said, though it was nothing I didn't already know. I reflexively leaned as far away from Bella Swan as I could. When the bell rang I again rose quickly and left the room faster than I should. I hoped no one noticed.

As I stood at my car in the parking lot at the end of the day Bella Swan caught my eye as she walked out to her truck. We made eye contact the entire length of her walk. Her eyes seemed to burn directly into my soul. She reached her truck and got in. She looked up again to see that I was still watching her. She tried to pull out of her spot too quickly and nearly hit an oncoming car. I unsuccessfully tried to hide my smile.


	2. Phenomenon

3

3. Phenomenon

"Edward," Alice called from down the stairs.

"What do you want?" my needless answer because I already knew.

_Why did I see you talking to the Swan girl in Biology today? Are trying to get us all in trouble?. Do you want to slip? _I sighed and flung myself off my leather couch in my room. I switched off my music and reluctantly went downstairs to face the questions. They were all in the living room, waiting for me.

"I was only trying to be polite." I offered, "I didn't want her to think anything of my behavior last week. If she got suspicious, it could be bad."

"If she know too much it could also be bad." Rosalie said, coldly. I glared at her, she was so self-absorbed.

"She doesn't know anything." I assured them all.

"Edward," Jasper approached, "I can tell how you feel about her. You're curious, you want to know. You enjoyed talking with her." His empathic abilities were suddenly not appreciated.

"It's nothing," I tried to deny it. "I don't care; I'm just keeping up appearances." Without another look or word I went out the back door into the night and let my legs take me into a sprint then as my frustration grew, a full on run.

_Idiot, _Rosalie didn't try to be kind with her thoughts.

_Edward, just be careful and think before you act, _Alice was much more understanding. I ran for most of the night, trying to let their words leave me and take the bothered feelings with them. But they didn't leave, I couldn't out run them.

The next morning we stood in the parking lot in a group around the Volvo. It had snowed last night and there was thin covering of iciness on the roads, and a sheet of snow on the ground. Emmett and Jasper were arguing about their latest fight, which Jasper had narrowly won. Rosalie had her makeup compact in her hand examining her hair and makeup. I shook my head, _shallow,_ I thought. Alice was staring off into space as she usually did when she was on the look out for trouble.

Suddenly there was nothing relaxed about Alice's expression and I realized she was having a vision. I saw in her mind the blue van coming uncontrollably across the parking lot. I saw Bella Swan beside the back of her truck and then the van hit the truck. Bella was no where to be seen. The horror of what I saw shook me to the core. I couldn't let this happen. I was nearly doubled over after my all too real experience of her death. I looked over to see her standing at the back of her truck looking at the back wheel. Then the screeching of the tires began.

Like lightning I was right in front of her. I knocked her to the ground with the force of my speed. I heard her delicate skull hit the concrete road. The van was still coming, I looked for an alternative but there was none. I lifted the van with one hand and swiveled her out of the way with the other. The two vehicles collided right where she had just been. I didn't realize it until now but I was holding her, tight against me. If I had a pulse it would have been racing. Suddenly the smell of her hair wasn't only tempting, it was sweet to me. It meant she was alive and at the moment that was all I cared about.

"Bella, are you alright?" I whispered.

"I'm fine." She said and tried to sit up but I didn't let go of her.

"Be careful, I think you hit your head pretty hard." She looked up at me then she felt the pain.

"Ow," I almost smiled

"That's what I thought," she stared up at me confused.

"How in the…" I wondered if she had a concussion. "How did you get over here so fast?" well, no concussion, but I might have to use her hitting her head to my advantage.

"I was standing right next to you, Bella." I insisted with a serious tone. I let her go and moved as far away from her as I could in the tiny prison between the metal. The crowd had begun to form and work but I ignored them. I wished for the millionth time that I could hear her thoughts. _Please let it go_, I pled with her silently. She tried to get up but I pushed her shoulder back down. If she had a slight concussion she needed to lie still.

"Just stay put for now," I told her.

"You were over there. You were by your car." I was stunned, how did she know that? I looked at her, with a hard expression.

"No I wasn't." I insisted.

"I saw you," she srgued.

"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way." I stared her down with my eyes. Trying to silently communicate how important it was to her.

"No," her mouth set in a firm line. She wasn't budging.

"Please, Bella." I turned my voice soft.

"Why?"

"Trust me," soft again. I seemed to do better with her if my voice was soft. She was too stubborn to argue with.

"Will you promise to tell me later?"

"Fine," I lied.

"Fine," she replied, definitely stubborn. When the EMTs made their way to us I insisted that I didn't need medical attention. Bella tried to do the same but I told them she hit her head. I knew they wouldn't risk her neck. They loaded her on the stretcher and put a neck brace on her. Her face burned with her anger and embarrassment the entire time.

I looked back over towards my car as I got into the front of the ambulance. My siblings were standing in the same places as before. Their arms folded across their chests. Glaring at me, all but Alice.

_I'm going to kill you,_ Rosalie was livid.

_Oh, Edward, what have you done, _Alice's sorrow was evident. Jasper was focusing on controlling the emotions around him. Keeping it calm and running smoothly. I got into the front of the ambulance. I had to find Carlisle.

I jumped out of the ambulance and went inside quickly. I found Carlisle in a curtained area with a patient. I knew he smelled me immediately. He excused himself and came out to see why I was here instead of school. I recanted the story of my foolish rescue.

"I don't know what possessed me, Carlisle, but I couldn't let her die. I had no choice. She doesn't believe that I was standing next to her; I'm worried she knows something. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Edward." He reassured me "We'll take care of it. Let me go and see her." I quickly followed Bella's scent to the curtain area where she and Tyler, who had been driving the van, were kept. She had her eyes closed, her head laid back on the pillow. I looked at Tyler.

"Is she sleeping?" as soon as I said it her eyes flew open, I guess not. I smirked at her from the foot of her bed. I was unbelievably happy to see her breathing and alive, in one piece.

"Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry-" Tyler began to apologize. I held up my hand.

"No blood, no foul." I said, smiling at him. I went to sit on the edge of Tyler's bed and stared at Bella, smirking again, I couldn't help it.

"So what's the verdict?" I wondered.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go," she pouted. "How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

"It's all about who you know, but don't worry I came to spring you" I caught Carlisle's scent. He entered the curtained area.

"So, Miss Swan," he said to Bella, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she insisted. He looked over her x-rays on the lightboard.

"You're x-rays look good," he told her "Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard." He moved his fingers along her scalp, looking for fractures.

"It's fine," she said again. But she winced when he touched the exact area she had hit.

"Tender?" he asked.

"Not really," I chuckled lightly. She shot me an unhappy look. I watched him examine her carefully. I began to feel something in the pit of my stomach. I didn't like him touching her. My own father, my creator. Why did I not like him touching her? It was absurd.

"Well, your father is in the waiting room- you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all." Her mouth dropped open.

"Can't I go back to school?"

"Maybe you should take it easy," Carlisle said gently, he was much more compassionate and kind than I.

"Does he get to go back to school?" she asked pointing at me.

"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived." I smirked at her again. I was enjoying taunting her a little too much.

"Actually most of the school seems to be in the waiting room," Carlisle said.

"Oh no," Bella moaned, she hated to be the center of attention.

"Do you want to stay?" Carlisle asked with raised eyebrows.

"No, no," she answered a little too quickly. I had to smirk again. She jumped off the stretcher and wobbled a little, dizzy. Carlisle caught her and steadied her. I nearly growled at him.

"I'm fine," she said again.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain," Carlisle instructed.

"It doesn't hurt too bad." She told him.

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky," Carlisle replied

"Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me," she looked at me as she said this.

"Oh yes, well." Carlisle looked at me; _she knows something, smooth it over._ I nodded, barely. He turned to Tyler on the next stretcher. Bella was by my side without a moment's hesitation.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she hissed.

"Your father is waiting for you," I told her, no luck.

"I'd like to speak with you alone, I if you don't mind." She insisted, I turned and walked down the hall a little too fast. She was nearly running to keep up. When we met a secluded corner I turned on her.

"What do you want?" I didn't even try to keep the edge out of my voice.

"You owe me an explanation," she said.

"I saved your life, I don't owe you anything." I was angered by her insistence on the point. She cowered away from me but didn't back down.

"You promised," she said quietly, innocently. She melted my anger immediately.

"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about," I said trying a new approach.

"There's nothing wrong with my head," the anger burned in her eyes.

"What do you want from me, Bella?" I was getting really angry now.

"I want the truth, I want to know why I'm lying for you,"

"What do you think happened?" I would try to gauge just how many people would believe what she said.

"All I know is you weren't anywhere near my- Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard." Darn, she had a accomplice now. "That van was going to crush us both- and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it- and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all- and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up…" I stared at her, how could a human be so observant. How did she have time to see all that? Her memory was so vivid. I became uncontrollably tense and defensive.

"You think I lifted a van off you?" I tried to make her think it sounded too ridiculous to be true. She nodded once her jaw set tight. "No one would believe that, you know." I said harshly, trying not to threaten her.

"I'm not going to tell anybody" she said. I couldn't believe it. Was that true?

"Then why does it matter?"

"It matters to me, I don't like to lie- so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it." She sounded genuine, but I wasn't sure if I could trust her, especially because I couldn't read her thoughts.

"Can't you just thank me and get it over with?" I tried to change the subject.

"Thank you," she said but there was no closure in her voice.

"You aren't going to let it go, are you?"

"No" she was firm, resolved.

"In that case…I hope you enjoy disappointment." I glared at her and she returned the look. There was silence. Suddenly she looked down.

"Why did you bother?" she said, glumly

"I don't know," I had enough, now she was going to have the audacity to try to soften me with her manipulation. I spun on my heel and walked away from her. I left her standing in the hallway, alone.

I burst through the ER doors into the outdoors. I waited until I was clear of anyone's sight then broke into a run. I ran all the way home. I spent the remainder of the day in my room. I played my music too loud for human ears trying to ration away the feelings in my gut.


	3. Invitations

4

4. Invitations

I was resolved. I had decided to just ignore her. If I didn't get any more involved with Bella Swan I could forget the feelings I'd had, forget about how she stirred me unlike anyone ever had. I sat rigidly in the cafeteria listening to disapproval in my siblings minds. I never looked over towards Bella Swan's table, never listened to Jessica's thoughts. I scanned everyone else's thoughts. I listened for only one word, vampire. Would she be true to her word? I wondered if she would tell anyone what she thought. I wasn't sure what I would do if she did but I just couldn't let myself believe that she would keep my secret.

I was first to Biology, I waited at our table until she finally came in and sat down next to me.

"Hello, Edward," she greeted me. For her sake and my family's I knew I had to ignore her, make her forget. I turned my head just slightly toward her and nodded once.

That was the last contact I had with her for weeks. I ran through the night and fed more often than usual. I never looked at her at lunch and I never spoke to her in class. I tried to vanish as much as I could from her day to day life.

The weeks passed and I never stopped thinking about her. When I closed my eyes I saw her chocolate eyes looking at me. I couldn't forget, but she would, I was sure of it. There was a dance coming up at school and nearly forty percent of the males in the school were trying to think of the best way to ask her or talk her into asking them, since it was girls' choice. I wanted to slaughter every one of them. The green headed monster inside me could only be jealousy. I had never felt it before; I read about it in countless books and saw it in movies. But now, I was the jealous one. I wanted to be human, if I could be human I wouldn't have to ignore her and forget. The hatred for every human male in the school burned like fire in my core.

I got to Biology first as usual. Mike Newton came into the class with Bella close behind. I heard his mind; he was planning on asking her to the dance, too. He was nervous; he couldn't decide how to say it. He stumbled over it. Maybe she would say yes. That would be an indication that I was doing the right thing. That maybe she would have normal life if I stayed out of it. He flushed with embarrassment when she rejected him.

I couldn't help myself; I stared at her trying to figure out what was behind those eyes. Why would she turn down all the boys vying for her affections? Did she not want to be normal?

"Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Banner asked from the front of the class.

"The Krebs cycle," I said taking my time turning to look at him. I didn't need to be paying attention to his lecture to know the answer. He looked away, disappointed that he hadn't caught me daydreaming. I felt like a monster. I was being so mean to her and she had no idea why. The bell rang, usually I left the room as quickly as possible but today I lingered. I wanted to explain, to give her some insight into my actions. I didn't dare to hope that she cared for me but I knew that she had noticed my seeming indifference. I approached cautiously.

"Bella?" I said, gently. She turned toward me sending a gust of air filled with her scent into my face. It nearly knocked me off my feet.

"What? Are you speaking to me?" her anger annoyed me, and my expression turned harder.

"No, not really." I shot back.

"Then what do you want, Edward." She sounded hurt and disappointed. My stomach flipped at my name on her lips. It wavered my resolve, but only briefly.

"I'm sorry, I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really." I knew she wouldn't understand but I tried nonetheless.

"I don't know what you mean," she confirmed.

"It's better if we're not friends, trust me." I said gently. Her eyes narrowed on me.

"It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier. You could have saved yourself all this regret." She spat at me, her words stung. I was shocked.

"Regret, regret for what?" I was truly bewildered.

"For not just letting that stupid van squish me." I couldn't speak, I just stared at her. Her words pierced through me.

"You think I regret saving your life?"

"I know you do." She snapped. Now I was really mad.

"You don't know anything." I told her, I let her turn to stomp away from me. She tripped on the door and dropped her books all over the floor. I was instantly sorry I had been so angry with her. I felt guilty. I'd already picked them up and stacked them before she had bent over. I handed them to her, my expression still hard.

"Thank you," she said coldly

"You're welcome." I was too furious to try to sound any nicer. I walked the opposite direction she did. The rest of the day passed by me without me retaining any of it. I floated through the last class of the day without even hearing the teacher's voice. All I could hear or think about was the hurt tone in Bella's voice. Did she hate me? I knew I didn't want her to but I hoped she would eventually. That would make it easier, for her at least. When the last bell rang I was all too eager to get to my car.

I walked past the red 57 Chevy truck that I knew had Bella Swan in it without looking at her. I heard Tyler Crowley's thoughts in my mind, _Crap, I'm gonna miss her; she'll leave before I can ask her. I don't think I have the nerve to call her._ I got into my car and back out in front of her truck, blocking her in. This would give Tyler his chance. I heard their entire conversation. She rejected him too. I couldn't understand it. Was there not one single human boy at this school worthy of a glance from her? It was as much a mystery as she was. The others made their way to the car. We sped away from the school but I couldn't help the smile on my face. Maybe I was wrong.

That night I told the others I wasn't going to try to stay away from Bella anymore. We were gathered in the living room as I told them about my conversation with Bella today and how I hated to see her hurt but I thought it wouldn't matter to her. I explained how I couldn't stop thinking about her. Everyone's thoughts rushed into my head.

_Edward has never taken notice of a human like this before.._Esme thought, _Maybe she's the one…_I stopped listening after that. That would be the worst thing possible for Bella, but I did already care about her.

_So help me, if he ruins things for me over some little measly human girl I'm going to kill him. _Rosalie's thoughts as usual were about how this situation would effect her.

_It was the same for me with Esme…_Carlisle's memory of his love for my mother were playing through his head. He was trying to relate and at the same time trying to figure out how he could talk me out of getting involved with Bella. The others were concerned but nothing caught my attention. Carlisle finally sighed, stood and came to look down at me where I sat.

"Just be careful, don't reveal too much to her. I trust you." He turned and went upstairs to his study. Everyone else just sat in silence their thoughts turned from a low buzz to shouts and I covered my ears with my hands. They didn't stop. I stood and ran out the back door of the kitchen and into the woods. I ran until I could no longer hear them. When I stopped I was in the meadow. My meadow, I came here frequently to escape the things I couldn't listen to. Anytime any of the three couples I lived with were feeling romantic I had to leave the house. Being the odd man out hadn't bothered me in more than eighty years. I was accustomed to it, I was comfortable with it. But now, I suddenly longed for someone, a companion no, a soul mate. Did I have a soul mate?

I lay in the grass the rest of the night looking at the stars trying to decide how I would approach Bella Swan. I briefly entertained the idea of asking her to the dance. I decided against it. I finally remembered the excuse she'd given Mike Newton. She was going out of town, to Seattle. That's where I would start. Seattle would be crowded, plenty of people around, low risk. The sun was rising as I made my plan a decision. Alice would see it now but I didn't care. My thoughts were all on the nervous feelings fluttering in my stomach. What if she rejected me too? I knew that was better but I still didn't want her to.

The house was empty when I finally came home. I went straight to my bedroom to dress for school. I left in my Volvo without my siblings. I knew they wouldn't want any part of my choices from here on out. I was almost two hours early to school. I sat in my car, playing music along with the different scenarios I imagined in my head. Cars began to pull into the parking lot. Soon it was almost full, no sign of Bella yet. What if she didn't show? The disappointment was undeniable as the thought came to me. I shook my head; all these feelings were so new to me. I felt more human than I had in years.

I heard the unmistakable roar of her truck before anyone saw it. I took in a deep breath and prepared myself. Why was I so nervous? Bella Swan pulled her massive vehicle into a spot on the opposite side of the parking lot. I saw her clumsily get out of the cab. I heard the clinking of her keys hitting the concrete. No one was looking so I went, much too quickly to where she stooped to pick them up. I reached out and grabbed them before she could. She stood up abruptly, looking irritated when she saw me. Her scent hit me again and this time I felt my knees grow weak.

"How do you _do_ that?" I held her keys out to her, trying to look innocent.

"Do what?" I dropped them into her open palm.

"Appear out of thin air?" Why was she so observant? Her mind was too deep. She refused to deny things that she saw. She was unusually willing to see what others wrote off.

"Bella, it's not my fault if you are especially unobservant." I used my gentle voice hoping she would let it go. But she glared at me and I immediately regretted my comment.

"Why the traffic jam last night?" Her memory was too vivid. Why did she care? "I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death." She was more aware of my actions than I realized. All too easily the truth escaped my lips. But I couldn't lie to her no matter what it might cost me.

"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance." I snickered at her.

"You…" I could see her mind working to try and find the right insult for me. I couldn't help my amusement.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist." _I'm trying to make you forget that I do._ I thought, but that wasn't even true anymore.

"So you are trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?" My anger rushed to my face and I knew it showed in my eyes.

"Bella, you are utterly absurd." There was no more humor in voice or my expression. I was becoming annoyed. How could she irritate me so and then cause my stomach to flip-flop the way she did? She turned from me, blowing her scent into my face with her hair and my knees were weak again. I thought about just letting her walk away, but I couldn't. I followed and caught up to her in three steps.

"Wait," I called as I closed the distance between us, but she didn't stop. Fear gripped me, maybe she wouldn't forgive me. "I'm sorry, that was rude, I'm not saying it wasn't true, but it was rude to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?" she grumbled. Her words stung in my chest. _Because I can't._ The thought came all too naturally.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," I chuckled at her earlier reaction to my reasoning for blocking her in yesterday.

"Do you have multiple personality disorder?" she spat at me. _You have no idea._ I thought to myself.

"You're doing it again." I was resolved now. She sighed.

"Fine then. What do you want to ask?" She stopped and turned to face me.

"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday- you know, the day of the spring dance-" Did I have the nerve to ask her?

"Are you trying to be funny?" she interrupted. My nerve was gone.

"Will you please allow me to finish?" She bit her lip and looked at me, unamused. "I heard you say that you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride." Plan B would have to do. The surprise showed on her face.

"What?" she sounded confused, and a little disappointed.

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?" I pressed.

"With who?" she was gong to make me say it.

"Myself obviously." She stared at me, still stunned.

"Why?" Oh no, I had to reason with her. I couldn't tell her just because I wanted to be near her.

"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it." Anger flared in her eyes again.

"My truck works fine, thank you very much for your concern." She started to walk away from me again. Rejection stung me but I caught up to her again.

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?"

"I don't see how that is any of your business." She was irritated again.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business." I mused.

"Honestly Edward," I felt a thrill and my knees weaken again when she said my name. I wanted her to say it again. "I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend." _No, I'd like to be more than just your friend. _The thought caused an unintentional smile to play on my lips.

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."

"Oh thanks now that's all cleared up." Her sarcasm told me this would be harder than I thought.

"It would be more…prudent for you not to be my friend. But I'm tired to trying to stay away from you, Bella." Her name sounded like music on my lips. I let my eyes burn into hers and felt my familiar weakness in my knees, my stomach and everywhere else that I could feel. "Will you go to Seattle with me?" I gently pressed. She just nodded. I let myself smile with the victory and the thought of spending time with her. Then I remembered the fantasies I had entertained the first time we met. "You really should stay away from me. I'll see you in class." I gave her the warning but I secretly hoped she wouldn't listen. I turned and walked away.

I knew before I got to my car that I couldn't wait until then. I decided to have lunch with her. I didn't want to hear it from my brothers and sisters anyway. I drove out of the parking lot and to my favorite hunting spot. If I had a fresh meal in my stomach it would be easier to be around her. If I wasn't thirsty maybe I could make it through the hour without imagining how her blood tasted.


	4. Blood Type

5

5. Blood Type

After I was full I made it back to school just in time for lunch. I entered the almost empty cafeteria and noticed my siblings sitting further away than usual. No one was speaking, with words anyway. I glared at them and went to our usual table and sat to wait for Bella. I saw her enter the cafeteria a few minutes later with Jessica Stanley. She immediately scanned the cafeteria. My heart would have jumped if it could at the thought that maybe she was looking for me. She noticed my siblings where they sat and her face fell slightly. I let myself dare to hope that she was disappointed not to see me. She and Jessica made their way into the line. She didn't get any food only a bottle of lemonade. Jessica had noticed me in my solitude by then.

_Why is Edward looking at her, she isn't anything special, I'm prettier than she is._ "Edward Cullen is staring at you again." She told Bella. "I wonder why he's sitting alone today." Bella's head snapped up and looked directly into my eyes, I couldn't not smile at her. She was actually very beautiful. Not glamorous but classically beautiful. I raised one hand and motioned for her to come to me. She stared at me with apparent disbelief. Jessica's thought were even more malicious now.

"Does he mean you?" she didn't hide her disgust.

"Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework." She was too kind to someone so vindictive. She crossed the cafeteria and stood behind the empty chair opposite me.

"Why don't you sit with me today?" I indicated towards the empty chair. I waited, adjusting to her close proximity. My brunch had helped a little but I could still smell her blood and the familiar burn in my throat returned. But it was bearable.

"This is different," she finally said.

"Well…" I wanted to tell her I couldn't wait until Saturday to be with her but I held back. "I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."

"You know I don't have any idea what you mean," she didn't need to point out the obvious.

"I know," I smiled. Jessica and the rest of her table were turned to look at us; they were not even trying to hide the mystified look on all their faces. "I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you."

"They'll survive." She answered quickly. I caught my breath, did she actually prefer my company to theirs, I hoped.

"I may not give you back, though." I teased but I knew there was a gleam in my eyes. Maybe she would take it as flirting. She gulped, I laughed at her. "You look worried."

"No, surprised actually…what brought all this on?"

"I told you- I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up."

"Giving up?"she returned

"Yes- giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want and let the chips fall where they may." I told myself that if they fell where they should and she left me it would be better. But I wasn't prepared for how the thought made me feel. The idea of not being around her suddenly crippled me.

"You lost me again," she was so clueless, it was almost cute. I smiled at her, careful not to show too much of my teeth.

"I always say too much when I'm talking to you- that's one of the problems."

"Don't worry- I don't understand any of it."

"I'm counting on that." I said, hoping she couldn't hear the seriousness in my voice.

"So, in plain English, are we friends now?" I thought about it.

"Friends…" _If only we could be more…_

"Or not," she became embarrassed when I didn't respond immediately.

"Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you." I didn't want her to decide against the idea.

"You say that a lot." She pointed out.

"Yes, because you're not listening to me. I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me." I was still waiting for her instincts to kick in and tell her I was dangerous and she walk away from me. I shuddered at the thought.

"I think you've made your opinion on the subject of my intellect clear, too." I was immediately sorry for my comment on her observance earlier. I smiled apologetically. "So as long as I'm being…not smart, we'll try to be friends?" she continued.

"That sounds about right." She looked away from my gaze and fidgeted with her bottle of lemonade. "What are you thinking?" I asked wishing for the hundredth time today that I could hear her thoughts.

"I'm trying to figure out what you are." I clenched my jaw, but managed to hold my expression.

"Are you having any luck with that." I was trying to fish out how much she knew.

"Not much." Relief relaxed my face.

"What are your theories?" If she was thinking about it I wanted to know how close she was. Had she put two and two together? She blushed and her scent increased in intensity. "Won't you tell me?" I tempted. She shook her head.

"Too embarrassing." She said, so she cared how she looked to me.

"That's really frustrating, you know." She looked confused again but her eyes narrowed on me.

"No, I can't imagine why that would be frustrating at all- just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean..now why would that be frustrating?" I grimaced at her rantings. Did she really think about me at night? "Or better, say that person did a wide range of bizarre things- from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that either, even after he promised. That, also, would be very non-frustrating." I was stunned. She noticed everything; she was just as aware of me as I was of her.

"You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?"

"I don't like double standards." She spoke to me without fear. I knew that she was being completely honest with me. We glared at each other. In the silence Mike Newton's thoughts came to me. _They look like they're arguing. Maybe I'll go over and threaten him. He's not that big, maybe I could take him. If he hurts Bella, I swear I'll kill him. _I snickered at his threat.

"What?" she noticed me looking over her shoulder.

"Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you- he's debating whether or not to come break up our fight." I snickered again, it was a joke really. One look and he would run away the way he came.

"I don't know who you're talking about. But I'm sure you're wrong, anyway."

"I'm not, I told you most people are easy to read." I said smugly.

"Except me, of course." She retorted.

"Yes. Except for you. I wonder why that is?" she looked away from my attempt to read her thoughts again. She took a sip of her lemonade. The scent it left on her breath mingled with her floral smell and complemented it, making all the more tempting. "Aren't you hungry?"

"No. You?"

"No, I'm not hungry." I mused.

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked hesitantly. I was caught off guard. I was unsure of my response. If she wanted me to turn and walk away and never speak to her again, I knew I could not.

"That depends on what you want." I told her.

"It's not much." She said. I waited to see if she was right. "I just wondered…if you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared." She looked at her bottle again and her voice broke with what she suggested. I thought I could detect that she was dreading such a moment.

"That sounds fair." I tried not to laugh.

"Thanks." She said meekly. I seized my opportunity.

"Then can I have one answer in return?"

"One." She agreed surprisingly quickly.

"Tell me one theory." I asked before she could put a limit on it.

"Not that one."

"You didn't qualify, you just promised one answer." I reminded her ignoring the double standard I had presented her. She however, did not.

"And you've broken some promises yourself." She told me, her words stung.

"Just one theory- I promise I won't laugh."

"Yes you will," she sounded certain. I looked down and then glanced up at her with the full power of my eyes, golden from my hunt.

"Please?" I asked in my most tempting voice. She just stared at me with her mouth open.

"Er, what?" it worked.

"Please tell me just one little theory.

"Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?"

"That's not very creative," I could barely suppress my chuckle.

"Sorry, that's all I've got." She sounded a little insulted.

"You're not even close." I teased her.

"No spiders?"

"Nope"

"And no radioactivity?"

"None."

"Dang," she sighed, her voce reminded me of mine when I thought of how frustrating not hearing her mind was.

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me either." I teased her to relieve my internal laughing.

"I'll figure it out eventually." She said, her resolve came through in her tone. My amusement faded.

"I wish you wouldn't try."

"Because…" she pressed. _Because you may not like what you find._ I thought.

"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" I smiled a little, trying not to scare her.

"Oh. I see" had she seen the vampire in my face? Did she know something?

"Do you?" I was afraid but I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"You're dangerous." I heard her pulse quicken. It hurt me to hear her finally admit what I'd been trying to tell her all along. She took in the emotion in my eyes and clearly didn't understand it. "But not bad. No, I don't believe you're bad." She brought all my worth back with just one statement.

"You're wrong." I took the bottle out of her hands, carefully not touching her hands. I spun it around in my hands trying to cope with the emotions flowing through me. It would kill me if she was afraid of me. If she decided to walk away I'd have to leave again and this time I might not come back.

"We're gong to be late." She had noticed that almost everyone had left the cafeteria.

"I'm not going to class today," During lunch Alice had told me with her mind that the Biology class would be blood typing today. There was no way I could be in the building when that happened.

"Why not?" I thought I could detect a hint of disappointment in her voice. It raised my hopes ever so slightly.

I smiled at her, "It's healthy to ditch class every now and then."

"Well, I'm going." I looked away from her so I wouldn't have to see her walk away from me.

"I'll see you later then," I mumbled. She got up and went to the door. I heard her steps pause and I knew she looked back at me but I didn't look up. When the door closed I look towards it. She was gone. The sadness washed over me and I felt empty and alone.

I left the table and went to my car. I played music and thought about her words. "You're dangerous" they echoed in my head and stung just as much as when she had said them. I lifted the bottle I still held in my hands and removed the top. I brought the top to my face and sniffed it. The smell of her breath still lingered there and I inhaled her deeply. I saw her face in my mind. When I opened my eyes I saw it again. It was leaning against Mike Newton as he supported her around the waist. She looked green and faint. What did he do? Where was he going with her? The jealous monster was there again. It taunted me. I turned off the car and got out. As I approached them Bella told him to let her sit for a minute. She told him to keep his hand in his pocket. The blood typing class, was it the blood? She slumped over on the sidewalk. She just lay there on the ground. Why didn't Mike do something? How could he just let her lay on the dirty ground?

"Wow, you're green Bella." He told her, what an idiot. He looked my way then. _Crap, what is he doing here?_

"Bella,": I called. "What's wrong is she hurt?" I asked Mike.

"I think she's fainted. I don't know what happened, she didn't even stick her finger." I was relieved to hear that. I could smell the blood from Mike's finger, though. The monster in my head wanted me to rip his arms off and not just because of the blood. I crouched down at Bella's face.

"Bella, can you hear me?" she lolled her head from side to side.

"No, go away." I chuckled, still herself.

"I was taking her to the nurse." Mike informed me trying to assert his claim.

"I'll take her, you can go back to class," I told him smugly.

"No I'm supposed to do it." I ignored him. I lifted Bella in my arms. An rush of electricity swept through me when I touched her. I held her away from my body, supporting her in my arms.

"Put me down." She complained.

"Hey," Mike called after us, I was still happy to just ignore him.

"You look awful," I told her, grinning.

"Put me back on the sidewalk." She said again.

"So you faint at the sight of blood? And not even your own blood." I reached the front office and held her in one arm as I opened the door. Mrs. Cope was sitting at her desk surfing the Internet. She looked up and took us in. _Edward Cullen, why is he carrying Bella Swan. What I wouldn't give to be her. Too young..too young…_she began her usual chant.

"Oh my," was all she said.

"She fainted in Biology," I told her, trying to squash her fantasies. I went further into the office and into the nurse's station; a small room with vinyl cots. The nurse looked up startled as we came in. I sat Bella down on one of the cots and went to stand as far away from her as possible. My throat burned with the proximity of her scent.

"She's just a little faint. They're blood typing in Biology." I told her trying not to sound as though I could have diagnosed much worse.

"There's always one." The nurse nodded as she went over to Bella. "Just lie down for a minute, honey; it'll pass." _I wonder which is making her fainter, the blood or being held by that beautiful boy like that._ Why was every grown woman in this school so perverted? Didn't they think of anything else?

"I know" Bella sighed.

"Does this happen a lot?" the nurse asked.

"Sometimes," she said. I cough to hide my laugh. The nurse turned to me then.

"You can go back to class now." She told me. Yeah right.

"I'm supposed to stay with her." I told her as though it were an order coming from a doctor. She didn't argue with me.

"I'll go get you some ice for your forehead, dear." She left the room.

"You were right," Bella moaned at me.

"I usually am- but about what in particular this time?"

"Ditching is healthy." She finished.

"You scared me for a minute there. I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods." I hated to let her know that I worried about her.

"Ha ha." She was not amused.

"Honestly, I've seen corpses with better color. I was concerned that I might have to avenge your murder." I would step back into old habits all too easily for her and since it was Newton the monster in my head would enjoy it as well.

"Poor Mike. I"ll bet he's mad." She groaned.

"He absolutely loathes me." I was glad, too.

"You can't know that." She argued.

"I saw his face- I could tell." And I heard his thoughts, they were equally malevolent.

"How did you see me? I thought you were ditching." She was feeling better if she could question me like that.

"I was in my car, listening to a CD." I didn't want to tell her I was thinking about her. The nurse came back in and placed an ice pack on Bella's forehead.

"Here you go, dear. You're looking better." Bella started to sit up.

"I think I'm fine." She told the nurse. The door opened and I smelled the blood before Mrs. Cope informed us there was another casualty. Bella stood and handed the compress to the nurse. "Here, I don't need this." Mike Newton staggered into the office with Lee Stephens who looked almost as green as Bella had.

"Oh no, get out of the office Bella," his blood was strong and there was more of it that I first thought. She looked up at me. "Trust me- go." I don't know why but she turned and caught the door and slipped out before it could close.

"You actually listened to me." I told her not trying to hide my surprise.

"I smelled the blood." She said, she wrinkled her nose. I stared at her not believing what I had just heard.

"People can't smell blood." I told her.

"Well, I can- that's what makes me sick. It smells like rust…and salt." Her description was accurate enough to make me believe her. I stared at her still unable to look away. She was truly the most unique creature I had ever come across; human or immortal. "What?" she became uncomfortable under my gaze.

"It's nothing," I told her. The door opened and closed behind me and I recognized the thoughts of Mike Newton again. He looked from me to Bella with his same loathing expression on his face. I grinned.

"You look better." He told Bella.

"Just keep your hand in your pocket." She told him. He inquired about her returning to class but he really wanted to know if she was going to stay with me. Then he turned even further away from me trying to exclude me from the conversation. I nearly growled at him, but the urge left me when I saw Bella looking at me over his shoulder. I leaned casually against the counter and pretended to stare off into space. When Newton finally left Bella groaned again.

"Gym," she sighed.

"I can take care of that," I moved to her side and whispered, "go sit down and look pale." She listened to me again and I went to the counter to gaze at Mrs. Cope. "Mrs. Cope" I used my softest voice on her.

"Yes?" she was already blushing. I buttered her up telling her Bella didn't feel well enough for gym. She easily wrote her an excuse note and then offered me one as well. I declined and Bella and I left the office; problem solved. I held the door for her.

"Thanks, it's almost worth getting sick to miss Gym."

"Anytime," I replied.

"So are you going? This Saturday I mean?"

"Where are you all going exactly?" I entertained the idea, it would be fun to piss off Newton some more and I wanted to spend more time with Bella.

"Down to La Push, to First Beach." No, my family and I weren't allowed to set foot on the reservation. They knew us for what we were. Carlisle had made a treaty with them when we came here seventy-five years ago, the first time. They didn't make any trouble for us and we stayed away from them. It was truce of sorts, they hated us though.

"I really don't think I was invited." I tried to get off the hook.

"I just invited you," My breathing quickened. She wanted me to come, I suddenly realized.

"Let's you and I not push poor Mike any further this week. We don't want him to snap." I couldn't help but enjoy that idea.

"Mike-schmike" she answered. Definitely not her boyfriend. We reached the parking lot and Bella headed for her truck. I grabbed her jacket without thinking.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked her.

"I'm going home," she replied confused by my actions.

"Didn't you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?" I was desperate to keep her safe now, it was becoming routine.

"What condition? And what about my truck?" she protested, thoroughly annoyed with me.

"I'll have Alice drop it off after school." I pulled her by the jacket toward my car. She struggled slightly,

"Let go." Now she was mad. I let her go when we reached the passenger door. "You are so pushy." She griped at me.

"It's open," I was annoyed with myself. Why can I not act normal around her? I got in the car.

"I am perfectly capable of driving myself home!" she insisted. I rolled down the window on her side.

"Get in, Bella." I saw her mind working as she tried to decide if she could beat me to her truck. "I'll just drag you back." I told her. She finally got in.

"This is completely unnecessary. I cranked the car and turned the music down and the heat up. The heating and air condition in my car had never been used. We didn't need it. It took me some fidgeting to get it just right. She was looking at me, I saw her out of my peripheral vision.

"Clair de Lune?" she asked.

"You know Debussy?" I was surprised.

"Not well, my mother plays a lot of classical music around the house- I only know my favorites."

"It's one of my favorites too." I admitted, trying to soften my earlier behavior. She relaxed then, settling back in the seat. "What's your mother like?" I asked her after a moment. I looked over at her, she returned my gaze and my stomach flipped again.

"She looks a lot like me, but she's prettier," I doubted that it was possible. "I have too much Charlie in me. She's more outgoing than I am, and braver. She's irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she's a very unpredictable cook. She's my best friend." Her voice broke with emotion as she finished. No wonder she seemed so much older. She had had to be the adult in the family.

"How old are you Bella?" I asked her. I stopped the car in front of Chief Swan's house.

"I'm seventeen," she said it with an expression of wonder at the question.

"You don't seem seventeen." I told her, she was more mature, and worldlier than seventeen. She laughed at me. "What?"

"My mom says I was born thirty-five years old and I get more middle aged every year. Well, someone has to be the adult. You don't seem much like a junior in high school yourself." I quickly changed the subject, inquiring about her mother's new husband. She explained that her mother was somewhat immature and that her young husband fit into that personality well. I questioned her approval of him and was slightly surprised by her answer.

"I want her to be happy... and he's who she wants." This seemed a very mature reply for someone so young. I allowed myself to wonder for a moment if she were to choose me, as I was uncontrollably hoping, what her parents would think.

"That's generous, would they extend you the same curtousy? No matter who your choice was?" _If your choice was a vampire. _I couldn't believe I had allowed my mind to think such a thing. Why would she choose such a thing? I hadn't hoped for anything in nearly a hundred years. Why did I hope for her?

"I think so but she is a parent so it's a little bit different."

"No one too scary then?" I smiled. In my peripheral vision I saw her return my smile.

"What do you mean by scary? No facial peircings or tattoos?"

"That's one definition I suppose."

"What's your definition?" she challenged. _No one immortal, who drinks blood or is damned for all enternity. _I didn't answer her but changed the subject again trying to gage her vision of me,

"Do you think I could be scary?" She was quiet for a moment.

"I think you could be scary if you wanted to."

"Are you scared of me now?" I ventured. She answered too quickly with the response I had feared. She was not afraid of me, her instincts didn't serve her well. She changed the subject to my family asking about Esme and Carlisle's so called "adopting" me. My breathing stopped when she asked what happened to my parents.

"They died many years ago." I told her casually. She offered her apologies. "I don't remember them clearly. Carlisle and Esme have been my parent for a long time now."

"And you love them?" she asked. She was so perceptive. She heard my admiration for my family in my voice, something I couldn't hide. I found it very easy to talk to her and tell her about them. She took in everything I said. I had spoken with humans on many occasions before but none of them seemed to hear me the way she did. I felt suddenly uncomfortable about how much I had shared with her. She turned her attention to my siblings which brought them back into my mind. They would be waiting for me and I saw a way to escape my awkward moment.

"They are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me." I could almost hear Rosalie's voice in my mind complaining about what the rain did to her so-called perfect hair. I commented on her father noticing that her truck was not present. I wished her a nice trip and attempted a joke at the weather being good for sunbathing. She didn't see my humor instead she registered on something I had not planned on telling her.

"Won't I see you tomorrow?" Did she sound disappointed or was I imagining what I wanted to hear? I told her Emmett and I were getting started on an early weekend. Truthfully Emmett had grown bored with the local wildlife and had a craving for grizzly, his favorite. We she told me to have fun I couldn't stop the smile that came to my lips. I turned to her and looked directly at her face. I wanted so desperately to reach out and touch her but wasn't sure if I could stop at that.

"Will you do something for me this weekend?" she nodded as though she would have willingly done anything I asked without question. "Don't be offended but you seem to be one of those people who attract accidents. Try not to fall into the ocean or anything like that? All right?" I smiled at her to try to ease the insult I had just given her. She glared back at me.

"I'll see what I can do," she snapped and jumped out of the car and went straight into her house slamming the front door. I grinned as I drove back to the school to pick up my siblings.


	5. Disapproval

6

Disapproval

I made it back to school before the last bell rang and waited patiently for my siblings to appear. I replayed my conversation with Bella over in my mind. I loved the way she listened to my comments so earnestly. She seemed to understand what I said and appreciate it more than anyone else ever had. My mind drifted back to finding her on the sidewalk and whisking her up in my arms. I could smell her as though she were next to me now. Her scent lingered in my memory and in the passenger's seat of my car. The others would know she had been here with me, they would smell her. I knew the lashing I was about to receive was coming. I didn't care. I would take a thousand lashing for the moments I spent alone with Bella. The irrationality of my feelings angered me. I knew this was wrong, I shouldn't allow myself to feel for a human. It would only end in disaster. Alice's thoughts entered my head before I realized they were heading towards the car. I steadied myself for what was to come.

Alice opened the passenger door and slid into the seat next to me. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper crammed into the back. Alice didn't waste any time.

"Edward, why did I see you driving Bella Swan home while I was in English?" I sighed and glared over at her.

"Because I did," I replied casually. "She fainted in Biology and I took her to the nurse and then home. Just a common courtesy." I knew this explanation would do but I tried it anyway.

"You did what?" Rosalie shouted from the backseat. "Why didn't you just let one of her many human admirer's handle it? Edward I swear if I have to pick up and move just because of some stupid little human girl…" I cut her off with the most vicious growl I could muster. She tightened her jaw and sighed but didn't continue. Alice looked at me in silence for a long moment.

"Oh no, Edward you don't…" my defense of Bella had sealed my fate.

"Of course I don't, Alice don't be ridiculous." My faked indifference didn't convince her and she continued to stare at me. I angrily revved the engine and sped out of the parking lot. The ride home was silent to everyone else but their thoughts haunted me.

_I can't believe it Edward's in love with a human. What will Carlisle think? _Jasper's mind told me.

_What are we going to do, is there anyway this could actually work._ Alice as usual was in my favor. Emmett's mind was a complete blank he couldn't form a coherent thought on the matter. Rosalie continued to fume about having to move again. I tuned them out and turned the stereo up louder.

I pulled up to our house and waited as the backseat emptied. When only Alice and I were left in the car I turned to her.

"Will you do something for me?" I asked hesitantly. She looked at me warily.

"Yes, I'll drive Bella's truck to her house for you, but you have to wait for me and drive me back home." She had already seen what I would ask. I nodded and sped back towards the school. The parking lot was empty except for Bella's massive red truck. I dropped Alice off and followed her to Bella's house again. I waited at the street while Alice parked the truck and then exited and walked to my car. I briefly entertained the idea of going to the door to see Bella again. The passenger door slammed and jolted me out of my daydreaming.

"Now," Alice said as she situated herself turned towards me. "How did this happen? What are you going to do? I thought you wanted to kill her?" Her spoken questions were a fraction of the ones coming at me through her mind. I held up my hand as I sped away from Bella's house.

"I don't know how it happened. I did want to kill her, her blood is so sweet to me I could devour her every time I smell it. When that van was about to kill her I couldn't help myself. I couldn't let her die. My actions took over my mind. I couldn't bear the idea of the world without her in it. I don't understand it anymore than you do. I feel this overwhelming urge to protect her. I can't explain it." Alice just looked at me taking in what I said.

"Edward, you realize how dangerous this is, don't you? Do you know what this could do to all our lives if something went wrong?"

"Of course I do, Alice, I couldn't live with myself if I jeopardized everything Carlisle has worked for and put any of you in danger. But I can't stay away from her, I can't exist without her. I tried, it nearly killed me. I don't know what else to do but embrace it." The words left my mouth but I wasn't entirely sure that I had spoken them. Alice's smile confused me. At first I thought she would laugh at the sentiments that had just escaped my lips. They were ludicrous, for one such as me to love a human.

"Oh my goodness, Edward, you're in love. You're nearly one hundred and ten years old and you've finally found someone you love. I thought it would never happen. I was afraid you would be alone forever." She couldn't contain her smile she was on the verge of giddy. I rolled my eyes at her as we pulled up once again in front of our home. I got out of the car and slammed the door, none too lightly. She was on my heels and followed me into the house. It was silent inside but I was sure Rosalie had already informed Carlisle of my inappropriate behavior. I went up the stairs and into my room. I put on one of my favorite CDs and cranked the volume up until the walls almost shook. I lay on the couch and prayed for peace. I lay there like that for hours without disturbance until finally the inevitable happened.

Why did Alice just assume that I love Bella, all I said was that I didn't want to try to stay away from her anymore and that I wanted to protect her. Does that amount to love? Questions such as this swam in my mind, I couldn't escape them and I couldn't rationally answer them. Nothing made sense anymore. Everything I knew before was uncertain now. How did this happen? I remembered very clearly the day she came into Biology and I plotted all the different ways I could kill her now I was wrestling with whether or not I loved her.

_Edward…_my father's mind called to me, interrupting my mental ranting. I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. This conversation, unfortunately, was unavoidable. Maybe Carlisle could make sense of this for me.

"Come in," I called. The door opened and Carlisle came to stand next to the end of the couch where my feet rested. I sat up courteously and he sat down. He looked lost for words; his mind began this unexpected conversation in a hundred different ways.

"Edward, each one of us, with the exception of Alice and Jasper, found their soul mate while that person was still human. Your situation is only more complicated by the fact that Bella is neither seriously injured nor dying. Edward, do you love her?" I couldn't speak my mind said I didn't know but my silent heart knew the truth. I nodded. "After three hundred years without a mate I found Esme. When I found her there dying after she jumped off that cliff my life was instantaneously different. I knew that if I walked away and let her die I would regret it forever. Essentially you could say that I couldn't live without her." His confirmation of my feelings for Bella sealed my fate. "If that is what you feel for Bella then as your father who loves you and wants you to be happy I say you should proceed with caution and find out how she feels. Give it time and see where it leads you. If you feel for her anything less than that I beg you not to jeopardize our family or yourself. You are not someone who is careless with your feelings, if you feel something for her, as I've never known you to feel for anyone before, then it can only be the same as I have with Esme. And a chance for you to have what we have is something I would never deny any of you."

I had no response to his words. I knew that each of my family members felt something for their spouse that I had never known. I wondered if the feelings stirring in me for the first time for Bella were the beginnings of such a love. The possibility pulled hope out of me that I didn't know existed. I had walked the earth alone for more than a century and been blissfully unaware that I was only half a soul. A new desire rose in my soul to feel whole. Everyone in my family had it except for me. Didn't I deserve a chance for the same? But I knew I shouldn't be willing to put my family in danger for such a chance. The dilemma was one that couldn't be resolved in a night. I looked over at Carlisle and apparently my expression said it all. He smiled at me as though he understood the conflict inside me.

_I'm here if you need me, _his mind told me silently as he stood to leave.

"Thank you," I replied, he nodded again and left the room. I returned to my former position, but when my eyes closed I didn't feel calm. My soul was restless at what my father had just said and at the things I had allowed myself to hope for. I couldn't return to my former resting. I rose from the couch and paced the room until I heard Alice's mind shout to me.

_For goodness sake, Edward, you're wearing a path in the floor. _I normally would have laughed and gone to talk to her but at this moment I was irritated. I decided to leave the house. I went downstairs to find Emmett and Rosalie lounging on the couch together. The picture of what my mind suddenly longed for. Rosalie turned her gaze on me briefly.

_Stupid lovesick fool, you'll be the death of us all..._her sour mind was more than I needed, or wanted, to deal with right now. I growled at her, the same as I had in the car, and ran out the front door. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me and let the wind clear my mind. I ran and ran past trees, past the stream, dodging trees and rocks. Finally the trees broke and I was in the meadow again. I breathed in a full breath of clean crisp air and fell flat on my back on the grass. The wind was lightly rolling around me. The sun, hidden behind the clouds, gave a slight hint that it was there. Insects chirped in the distant but I could hear them clearly, as though they lay next to me. The calmness of nature finally took me and my soul calmed. I thought about Bella, was she thinking of me? If she knew what I was would she finally stay away? That was a possibility, I could tell her or show her what I was and then she would never speak to me again. I winced at the thought. If she never spoke to me again, she would be safe, my family would be safe and everything could go back to normal.

No, things would never be normal again. Now that I knew her I would always love her. Things will never be as they had been before she existed, not for me. But for everyone else they could be. The resolve crashed upon me like waves on the shore. I would end it, I would show her that I was something to fear and then things would be better for everyone I loved.

When I was sure the couples in my home had all retired to their separate rooms and returned home. I had hunted two gloriously sweet does and was satisfied completely. I entered the house without a sound and returned to my room. I went to the bathroom and turned on the hot water. I stood under it letting it flow over me. The warmth I felt returned my mind to the warmth of Bella's body as I'd carried her to the nurse. The water steamed but of course did not scald my skin. When it fell off me I was the same as before, my body retained none of the heat. I was a cold, stone, statue. Would Bella ever love this body? My fists clenched at my sides as my self-loathing enclosed me. I shut the water off and stepped out into the bathroom. I didn't attempt to dry myself; I stood on the bathmat until I was dry, save my hair. I went to my dresser and pulled out running shorts and put them on. Then I turned my music back on, at a reasonable volume and returned to my leather couch. I lounged as I had earlier that day and listened to the melodies of the classical music that played from the speakers.

It wasn't enough; I lay there and finally began to pace again. The image of Bella's face exploded into my mind and the first notes of a melody rang in my ears. The sound didn't come from the speaker; I blinked and tried to imagine the notes again. An idea burst from my mind and I ran from my room and downstairs to my piano. I sat and looked at the keys for a moment. Before I could consciously begin to play the notes I had heard in my mind before came from the instrument. I played without thinking, I didn't know which notes I touched or how my foot moved between the pedals below me. But the melody and beautiful song flowed from me. I closed my eyes and let it come. It was too soft to be a ballad and too slow to be anything else. It was a lullaby, Bella's lullaby. Her face appeared in my mind and I finished the song. Without hesitating I started it again. It flowed from me just as it had the first time. I played it over and over again until my soul was cleansed. Peace found me again. The song ended and I stood to return to my room to write it down, even though I knew I could never forget it, just like the one who inspired it.

When I turned I faced a stunned Esme whose eyes were glistening as though she had tears in them. She stood and looked at me for a moment then came to me in one movement. She hugged me and shook with her happiness. She released me and took my face in both her hands and smiled into my face.

"She's the one, Edward. Don't let her go." She smiled once more and chuckled at me then turned and went into the dinning room. I stood frozen where I was and when I could finally move I launched myself up the stairs and back to the safety of my bedroom. I closed the door behind me and sank to the floor behind it. Esme had always worried about me and the fact that I had never found anyone as the others had. She worried that I was too young when Carlisle changed me to know adult feelings as my human nature should. As a mother would worry about her son, she was like a mother to us all. Her delight at my feelings for Bella were what you would expect from any mother and yet they troubled me. Why was she so happy that I could destroy everything with these new feelings? It wasn't rational. Carlisle and Alice were on my side as well. Jasper I knew was mostly concerned about the problems that might arise but other than that he mostly concerned himself with staying as far away from Bella as he could. Rosalie of course only thought about the situation would effect her. Emmett I was unsure about. I would find out on our trip to Goat Rocks tomorrow what he thought.

I stood and went to my desk and pulled a blank music sheet and pencil from it. I went to the rug on the floor at the center of my room and stretched out onto it. I flawlessly wrote out Bella's Lullaby, I wrote the title at the top when I had finished. I had never had a piece come to me so easily. Usually I sat the piano and poured over a composition and toyed with the notes trying to decide which arrangement I liked the most. Usually they ended up making three or four different songs when I couldn't make up my mind. This piece had flowed from me as though it were the most natural thing in the world. My instinct had taken over, just like on the hunt. I rolled on my back and played the piece over in my head again and again until the rhythm was broken from the outside.

The noise registered in my mind as a knock on my door. Emmett's impatient thoughts awaited me outside the door. I went to the door and opened it.

"Are we hunting grizzly this weekend or not?" Emmett boomed at me.

"Let me get dressed," I told my impatient brother.

"I'll meet you out at the Jeep." He told me and bounded down the stairs without waiting for me to respond. I closed the door again and turned towards the window. The sun was just beginning to rise above the mountains in the distance. I dressed quickly and headed out to meet Emmett. Our gear was in the Jeep and he was already inside waiting for me. I jumped into the passenger seat and he took off. We rode in silence, except for Emmett's blaring heavy metal echoing in my head. The drive normally would have taken humans between four and six hours. Two hours later we were at our destination. Emmett pulled the Jeep to a stop and jumped out, I followed and waited.

"What, Edward?" he sounded slightly frustrated. "You're waiting for something I can tell. What is it?" He stood in front of me refusing to move. I was a little shocked by his demand; his mind was calm, only on our trip. Normally Emmett said what was on his mind. His words were a mirror of his mind.

"I was just waiting for you to give your opinion on my situation." I read his mind and it was blank. I began to get nervous.

"Well I'm not going to" he informed me. "I'm not going to tell you what you think until I know that you want to know. Now, I'm hungry let's go find some bears." He grinned and took off into the woods. I smiled and took off behind him. I could have matched his pace but I didn't. Grizzlies were his forte and I would let him lead this hunt. His indifference to my feelings for Bella surprised me. After all the ranting I was sure Rosalie had done to him I thought he would be on her side for sure.

We ran for several miles until he caught the scent of a male grizzly about half a mile ahead. I fell back and watched as he advanced on it and took it down easily. I wondered how long he had fasted and waited for this trip. He devoured his kill and fell on the ground next to it, laughing as the fresh blood coursed through his body. Then he sprang up abruptly and took off again. I followed at a slight distance. I didn't read his thoughts; I knew they were on one thing…food. We ran another few miles and found two more bears, he took one and I drained the other. When we were finished, for now, we slowed our pace to a walk and found a familiar spot we used.

A large rock cliff jutted out of the trees and overlooked a river about forty feet below. We sat on the edge with our legs hanging over the edge. I sat in silence with my brother for a long time and finally sighed.

"Alright, Emmett, I want to know what you think. Am I crazy, should I forget her? If it were Rose could you?" I looked over at the silhouette of my brother. He didn't look at me.

"If it were Rose I could never leave her and I couldn't turn my back on her and try to forget. I can't breathe without her, I would rather die." He still didn't look at me. "I don't think you're crazy, I don't think you can help the way you feel, I don't think you asked for it and I don't think you can change it. You feel what you feel. You should let yourself be happy." I just stared at him in stunned silence. I wondered if Rosalie knew he didn't share her feelings. "I do, however, think that you should be careful and not let it get out of hand. I _will_ kill you if you hurt Rose." Now he finally turned his gaze on me and I knew he was serious. If I endangered Rosalie I would have him to answer to. I nodded.

"I would rather die than hurt any of you," I said this with as much sincerity as I could manage. He nodded and returned his gaze to the river. We sat in silence again. Finally, he jumped up and slapped me on the back.

"Come on, I'm hungry again." He took off into the woods, leaving me to follow.

Sunday evening we returned home dirty and unkempt. We'd spent three days in the woods, lying on the ground rolling in the dirt with our prey and devour every grizzly we came across. Emmett pulled the Jeep into the garage and we got out again. I was headed towards the house when his large hand landed on my shoulder and I stopped to look at him.

"Don't say anything to Rose about my views on you and Bella, I'm trying to soften her up to the idea and it wouldn't help." I nodded and replied that his secret was safe with me. We walked together to the house and found the rest of our family waiting for us in the living room. Rosalie jumped up and ran into Emmett and hugged him. She abruptly shrieked and pulled away quickly.

"Oh my, Em you stink," she told him and stepped a few extra feet away from him. She turned to me and the smile on her face faded and was replaced with utter and complete disdain. "Edward," her voice was like stone, if it had been anyone but Rosalie it would have hurt me. I didn't nod at her only growled lowly in my throat and went up the stairs without a reply. I showered and put on clean shorts and was lying on my couch listening to music when there was a tap on my door.

"Come in, Jasper," I called to him. He entered hesitantly and sat on the floor in front of the couch. I didn't need to open my eyes to know he was uneasy. Jasper was the newest to our way of life. Abstaining from human blood was still a challenge for him. He thought about devouring humans on a daily basis, sometimes more than once. If someone who appealed to him the way Bella did to me crossed his path he would take them down in an instant. He was always uneasy around us, he was the weakest link and he knew it. He didn't like it his mind was always censored around me. He liked his privacy and I respected it as much as I could. When he hadn't yet said anything I opened my eyes and looked over at him.

"What is it Jasper," I tried not to sound irritated. His gift allowed him to sense my irritation and he immediately set to soothing it; it worked. When I was relaxed he began.

"I just wanted to tell you that I understand how you are feeling." I was stunned, was there someone before Alice? When had Jasper been in love with a human? "When Alice found me she was so sure, she knew exactly what was between us and she trusted it unconditionally. I didn't understand it at all. I had no idea how she could know me, much less how she knew she loved me. I considered resisting her at first. Why should I just go along and let her decide we would be together? But the longer I stayed with her the more I knew I couldn't resist. I felt it, when we were together I felt whole. The thought of being without her sent me into panic. I just gave into it, and it was the best decision I have ever made. She completes me." He stood to leave.

"Thank you, Jasper," I said before he could open the door. He nodded to me and left. I settled back into my thoughts. They were so numerous, I was sure they outnumbered the stars. What would I say to Bella when I saw her? Would she know? Could I hide my feelings, should I hide them? The questions came over and over in my mind. I sprung off the sofa and returned to my piano. This time the composition was different. I play staccato, furiously, faster and faster until I felt the tension leave me. When I stopped the last note echoed in the silence and I saw Bella's face in my mind again. I began her lullaby and let it flow through me as I imagined our last conversation. The notes didn't come close to matching the melody I heard in her voice as it echoed in my head. Suddenly excitement flowed thorough me. In a few short hours I would see her again. I knew how to approach her.

I returned to my room and stood in my closet staring at the clothes that hung there. I looked at each piece trying to decide on something. Abruptly my actions clicked in my head and I laughed aloud at myself. I was behaving like such a girl. I stood in my closet trying to decide what to wear. Oh no, I don't think so. I pulled a shirt and pants off the rack without looking at what they were. I dressed shaking my head at myself. I refused to behave like a human teenage girl. I glanced at the clock on the wall; it wasn't too early to leave for Bella's house. I would ask her to ride to school with me. I had made a decision, I had a plan. I whistled as I went down the stairs and threw the front door open. The brightness of the sun hit my eyes and I squinted briefly. There was no way I could leave the house with the weather this way. I stood in the open doorways as my plan crumbled in front of me. I slammed the door and cursed as I returned to my room.

I moped for the rest of the day until twilight. I went running again and hunted. I was sure the next day would be a typical cloudy Forks day. Once again the sun greeted me at the doorway. I began to wonder if fate wasn't trying to tell me to forget Bella and let her go. I began to wonder if I would ever see her again. At twilight I went out for a drive. I passed a car in town and caught her scent through my open window. The "voice" I heard was Jessica Stanley's as she bristled with excitement over her date to the upcoming dance. In a matter of seconds I learned that she and Angela Webber and Bella, were on their way to Port Angeles to look for dresses for the dance. Had Bella changed her mind and decided to go with one of the boys who had asked her?

I made an illegal U turn and decided to go to Port Angeles as well. There was no possible way Bella could stay safe in a larger town if she was constantly in danger here in Forks. I wouldn't let her see me, just sit in my car or cruise around and keep my mind on what they were doing. No interference, I tried to convince myself that I wasn't a stalker. I sped around them once we were on the highway and beat them there.


	6. Port Angeles

7

7. Port Angeles

I pulled into a parking spot in the lot of the only shopping center in the town and waited. My music played lightly and the breeze blew through my open windows carrying the buzz of conversations of people passing by. I let my head rest against the headrest of my seat and hope that maybe it wouldn't be a disaster of a night. Jessica's thoughts once again entered my mind as they arrived and parked only a few spaces from me. I turned my head in the opposite direction as Bella got out of the backseat. The three girls headed for the department store that was the heart of the shopping center. I rested my head against the back of the seat again and listened to my music attempting to calm my nerves. How much trouble could Bella get into in a department store?

Less than two hours later they emerged from the department store. I could hear their conversation in their minds as they decided that they would put their clothes in the car and then walk down to the bay. Then Jessica and Angela headed towards the car and I saw Bella walk off alone. I went to get out of the car but Jessica and Angela would have seen me so I pulled out of my parking space instead and cruised the parking lot looking for Bella. When I didn't see her panic began to creep up on me. I decided I would have better luck on foot. I parked again and got out. As I walked to the sidewalk of people shopping I had to fight to keep an inconspicuous pace. I needed to find Bella, just to see that she was alright. I caught her scent right near the department store and followed it down the walkway.

I kept my pace calm but my mind was a blur. I couldn't stop the uneasy feeling that something was about to happen. I slowed my pace to listen to several minds as the people passed me by. None of them held a clue about where Bella might be. I was lost. I wandered the sidewalk in a daze. I still had her scent. Then just as quickly as I had it, it was gone. I froze in my tracks and looked over to my right. There was a small mythic looking bookstore beside me with an older hippie-looking woman with long gray hair inside behind the counter. I briefly scanned her thoughts and saw Bella glazing in the window then turn on her heel and head off in the opposite direction. I decided to go back to the car. I half-ran to my car and began cruising the street next to the sidewalk again. I was on the verge of believing I might never find her when I passed a group of college-age men. Without thinking about it I scanned their minds and saw their twisted thoughts. The stocky dark haired one had a plan in his mind. He had passed a young girl on the walkway and spoken to her but she had taken off away from them. He knew a shortcut that would put them ahead of her. They would surround her and trap her in and then he could have his way with her.

Before the image had cleared my mind I gunned the engine and sped across the parking lot to the back of the buildings looking for the one I'd seen in his mind. When I found them I would murder the four of them and take Bella away. Wait, I couldn't let her see me kill someone. She would be terrified and then she'd run from me the way she ran from these stalkers. I floored the engine again and still did not see the street I was searching for. Then I heard their minds again and made a sharp left turn. My headlights illuminated Bella's small frame in the center of the group of four much larger men. I sped up again as I headed straight for the stocky one. The one who would have done unspeakable things to Bella. He had to move out of the way to avoid being hit, but I didn't care if I hit him. I fishtailed around and stopped. In a flash I leaned over and opened the passenger door. Bella stood there in stunned shock and just looked at the open door.

"Get in, " I commanded, I couldn't hide the anger in my voce. It was going to take everything I had in me not to kill these pieces of filth behind me. She jumped into the seat next to me. Her scent hit me like a boulder as it always did. Now I was fighting the urge to take her right then and there along with the urge to kill the monsters behind us. I stomped on the gas and turned around to face north again and sped out of the alleyway without trying to avoid hitting the men who jumped out of my way.

"Put your seatbelt on," I commanded again unable to hide the anger still. I sped out of the small shopping center without pausing at crossways and without stopping at stop signs. I sped away from the scene of what I'd just interrupted. If I didn't get away from them I would hunt them down and then I would kill them. I saw Bella in my peripheral vision studying my expression, but try as I might I couldn't soften it, not even for her.

"Are you alright?" she asked me cautiously. Was I alright? Of course not, if she had and idea the things going through my mind right now she would jump from this moving car and run away from me as fast as she could.

"No," I was still too worked up to use a softened tone with her. I wished I could she didn't understand what I was feeling and it wasn't her fault. "Bella, are you alright?" My tone was controlled but still no softer. She choked out her reply that she was. I drove on until I found a turn off where I could stop. I pulled over and stopped the car abruptly. "Distract me, please." I instructed. She wouldn't understand what I meant but I needed someone other than myself to get my temper under control.

"I'm sorry, what?" she stammered. I exhaled all the air in my lungs.

"Just chatter on about something unimportant until I can calm down," I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to rid my mind of their thoughts and plans. I was attempting to erase the images of what I had seen, If I succeeded I could leave them alive, but I already knew it to be impossible so distraction was my only hope.

"I'm going to run over Tyler Crowley before school tomorrow." She offered after a moment. I didn't open my eyes yet.

"Why?" I pressed.

"He's telling everyone that he's taking me to prom, he's insane, or he's trying to make up for almost killing me last…you remember and he thinks prom is the right way to do it. So I thought if I endangered his life then we're even and he can't keep trying to make amends. I don't need enemies and maybe Lauren would back off and leave me alone. I might have to total his car though. If he doesn't have a car he can't take anyone to prom…" I relaxed slightly as she rambled on.

"I heard about that," I told her.

"_You _did?" she sounded confused. I couldn't tell her that I had found out about it at the same time she did; when her friends told her tonight. "If he's paralyzed from the neck down he can't take anyone to prom." She continued her ranting. The urge to turn the car around and faded but I still had to contend with the fury inside me. I opened my eyes and stared ahead into the trees in front of me.

"Better," Bella asked from the other side of the car.

"Not really," I let my head fall back to the back of the seat and stared at the ceiling of my car. My face felt like it was made of stone and I was frozen in my fury.

"What's wrong?" Bella's voice was barely a whisper.

"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper," I told her, I was afraid to speak too loudly. The edge in my voice was almost a growl and if she heard it I might frighten her. I lifted my head and stared out my window. The thought of killing her attackers returned to me and my eyes narrowed as I imagined how I would do it. "But it wouldn't help matters for me to turn around and hunt down those…" I was getting carried away with my fantasy and I had to stop before I really did frighten her. "At least that's what I keep telling myself." I continued to breathe steadily and soon I was almost calm. Bella sat in silence with me until she finally grew nervous.

"Jessica and Angela will be worried about me," she informed me. I didn't answer her I started the car and headed back towards Port Angeles. I had to do something to keep her with me. If I dropped her off with Jessica and Angela and was left to my own devices I would surely begin the hunt; and I wouldn't stop until they were dead…all of them. I drove straight to the shopping center and parked in front of the restaurant they had planned to meet at earlier. Jessica and Angela were leaving the restaurant with their takeout boxes in hand.

"How did you know where…" Bella began, I didn't answer I just turned to get out of the car. "What are you doing," she called after me. I stood and turned back toward the interior of the car.

"I'm taking you to dinner," I couldn't stop the twitch of smile that played on my lips and the proclamation that we were on our first date. I waited for her to exit the car on the sidewalk. She came to stand by my side. "Go stop Jessica and Angela before I have to track them down. I'm not sure I could restrain myself if we ran into your other friends." She shivered and headed towards the other girls calling their names. They turned and rushed back to her. Their faces displayed their shock as they realized I was with her. They stopped just in front of us. Jessica's envious thoughts assumed we had been parking somewhere, with our hands all over each other. I rolled my eyes at her thoughts; she was almost as shallow as Rosalie.

"Where have you been?" her tone conveyed the image she pictured in her mind. Bella told them she got lost and then ran into me.

"Would it be alright if I join you," I asked, knowing fully well that they had eaten.

"Sure," Jessica would be perfectly happy to eat again, but Angela cut in with an honest answer.

"Actually we already ate while we were waiting, sorry." Bella shrugged.

"That's okay, I'm really not hungry," she told them. I knew she would leave with them if I let her and I couldn't be left alone. At any rate, I expected her to go into shock any minute now.

"I really think you should eat something." I insisted to her lowly, then I turned to her friends. " Would it be alright if I took Bella home tonight? Then you won't have to wait while she eats." I offered. They hesitated a moment to see if Bella was being kept against her will, then agreed and rushed off to their car. Bella turned to face me.

"Honestly I'm not hungry," she informed me. I looked down at her without expression.

"Humor me," I said gruffly. I went to the door of the restaurant. The smell of garlic and tomato sauce hit me, when I opened the door, and I swallow a gag. I held it open for Bella and waited for her to accept defeat. She walked passed me and into the restaurant with a sigh.

"Table for two?" the hostess asked and I nodded. She led us to a table in the center of the restaurant. There were too many people around, if Bella went into shock I needed to contain the situation and see to her. I shook my head at the hostess.

"Maybe something more private?" I suggested as I slipped her a twenty. She was surprised but took the bill and led us around the back of the restaurant to a more private booth. They were all empty, we were completely alone.

"How's this?" she asked before setting our menus on the table.

"Perfect," I answered with a smile. She said something else but it didn't register in my mind. I watched Bella slide into the booth and when she didn't pass out I did the same.

"You really shouldn't do that to people. It's not fair." She told me, I was clearly confused.

"Do what?"

"Dazzle people, she's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now," I was still confused, did I do something or imply something I hadn't meant to?

"I dazzle people?"

"You haven't noticed? Do you think everyone gets their way so easily?" For having no sort of enhanced abilities Bella was extremely perceptive. I had always just assumed that I was convincing and would have made a good lawyer. Then, I thought of something else. I wondered if I had the same effect on Bella.

"Do I dazzle you?" I dared.

"Frequently," she admitted. I was attempting to hide the smile trying to appear on my face when I sensed a presence approaching. Our waitress stood beside our table. I didn't have to look at her to know what her main goal of this encounter would be. I heard her conversation with the hostess in my mind.

_Amber, you have to see this guy, oh my god, he's gorgeous. He has to be a model or something. I sat them in your section._

_Them?_

_He's here with some girl, she 's nowhere near as pretty as you and she looks really young. They weren't holding hands or anything. See if you can give him your number. Oh my god, he's amazing._

My temper flared slightly at their dismissal of Bella. I allowed myself a glance up at the waitress then before she knew I had looked I was satisfied. There was no competition. Bella was far more beautiful and nowhere near as conceded. She introduced herself and took our drink order all the while never actually looking at Bella. _Could she be anymore obvious? _I was getting irritated when she finally left and I was alone with Bella again. I was watching her and I knew it but I couldn't stop. I expected at any moment that she would pass out or go into hysterics. She sat virtually calmly in front of me, at least until she noticed me watching her.

"What?" I continued to stare at her face waiting for her color to drain or any sign of normal human reaction, but she yielded none.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, attempting not to be too obvious. She only replied that she was fine. I was becoming baffled. "You don't feel dizzy or sick or cold…?" I offered suggestions for her mind to see if they provoked any change. She remained unaware that she should be feeling any different than she did. I couldn't stop myself from chuckling at her. "Well I'm waiting for you to go into shock." I smile to ease the seriousness.

"I don't think that will happen," she informed me "I've always been good at repressing bad things." She was an enigma I couldn't get inside the only mind I wanted a glimpse into.

"Just the same I'll feel better when you have eaten something." The waitress appeared as though she had been eavesdropping on our conversation. Again, she spoke only to me as she took Bella's order. She attempted a flirty pout when I refused anything. My irritation resurfaced and I suddenly wanted her to leave and not return. Bella just sat there and stared at the table, then at her hands, then at the wall. She seemed comfortable enough but slightly on guard as though she was waiting for something to happen.

"Drink," I told her. She picked up her soda and sipped it delicately at first, then her thirst took over and she emptied the glass. I pushed mine to her and she started on it as well. She swallowed the last gulp hard and shivered. "Are you cold?" It could be the beginning of shock and I hadn't realized before that she didn't wear a jacket.

"It's just the Coke," she told me. I questioned her about her jacket, which she informed me she had left in Jessica's car. I pulled mine off and handed it to her. She pulled it snugly around her and I wondered if she would notice that it was cold. The jacket was too big but I enjoyed seeing her in it more than I should. The fact that she was wearing an item of my clothing should have no effect on me and yet I liked it. The beige of my jacket brought attention to the blue of her blouse which I hadn't noticed carefully before. Her chocolate brown hair hung lightly on the blue of the shirt and her ivory skin glowed beneath the color.

"That color blue looks lovely on your skin," the compliment escaped my lips before my mind could sensor it. She blushed at my compliment as she looked down and her skin looked twice as lovely as before. The blush of her cheeks was so warm and inviting. She continued to look down, not eating and not drinking. If I was going to keep her from going into shock I had to keep her blood sugar up. I pushed the basket of breadsticks on the center of the table to her. She all but rolled her eyes at me.

"Really, I won't go into shock," she insisted.

"You should, a normal person would. You don't even look shaken." As if her encounter with the four men wasn't enough; being this close to me should surely spark some instinct in her to be at least fearful.

"I feel safe with you," she blushed as she said it and looked up at me with the depth of her eyes. I frowned and shook my head. She had no idea how close to death she was every time she was close to me.

"This is more complicated that I thought," I said, mostly to myself. She took a breadstick and began eating it. I settled in my chair and watched her at first wondering how she could eat that baked flour and yeast. Then as my mind wondered I focused all my energy on her mind and attempted to gain entrance again. It was a useless endeavor; her mind was a closed book.

"Usually you're in a better mood when your eyes are light," she observed. I looked up to stare at her, how could a human be so perceptive. She had stunned me, in more than one hundred years on this earth no human had ever managed that and now Bella seemed to be able to accomplish it several times in a conversation. "You're always crabbier when your eyes are dark, I expect it then. I have a theory on that," she explained. Did she know something?

"More theories?" I taunted. She nodded and continued to chew her bread. "I hope you're more creative this time, or are you stealing from comic books again?" I was venturing into no man's land; if this conversation turned in her favor I might regret it later. I'd never ventured this far before, our secrecy was something that I took very seriously. But the humanity that hadn't been stirred in a century burned with a slight daring and adventurous feeling; a smile played on the corners of my mouth. But then if she did figure me out how bad would it be. It might get her to stay away from me. She had kept her word about the incident with Tyler Crowley's van I wonder if she would be as trustworthy with a deeper secret.

"Well, I didn't get it from a comic book, but I didn't exactly come up with it on my own." My stomach lurched slightly, how many more people were involved? Suddenly I didn't like the game I was playing anymore. I couldn't let it go, I needed to find out how much she knew.

"And?" I pressed. Bella was just about to speak when the waitress appeared with Bella's meal and made one last attempt at engaging me in conversation.

"Have you changed your mind? Isn't there anything I can get for you?" She put enough emphasis on the last comment for me to clearly understand her meaning while at the same time annoying me to my limit.

"No, thank you, but some more soda would be nice." I heard the edge in my voice as I gestured to the two empty glasses in front of Bella. She blushed slightly and removed them. Her mind told me she was on the verge of giving up. Finally, I was able to turn my attention back to Bella. "You were saying."

"I'll tell you about it in the car. If…" She hesitated slightly; bargaining was coming I could feel it.

"There are conditions?"

"I do have a few questions of course."

"Of course," I decided I could play along with her game. The waitress returned with two full sodas and thankfully set them on the table without a word. "Well go ahead," I encouraged her.

"Why are you in Port Angeles?" The question flowed from her lips like a demand and she had a suddenly serious tone.

"Next," I wasn't about to confess that I was keeping up with her to the point of beginning to feel like a stalker. She objected but I insisted that she move on.

"Okay then," she glared at me as she found her next question. "Let's say, hypothetically that someone could know what people were thinking like read minds, with a few exceptions." She was dead on.

"Just one exception, hypothetically." I fed her a little bait to see where her limits were. How much would she accept before running from this restaurant screaming.

"With one exception, then. How does that work? What are the limits? How would that someone find someone else at exactly the right time? How would he know she was in trouble?" The questions poured out of her and I could tell she had thought a lot about this possibility. Her mind seemed willing to accept and believe what she was told; which scared me, tremendously.

"Hypothetically," I attempted to gauge whether I was still within the imaginary world; though we both knew we were not. She nodded. "Well if that someone…"

"Let's call him Joe," she interrupted. Ugh, couldn't she have picked a different name; at least it wasn't my own.

"Joe, then. If Joe had been paying attention the timing wouldn't have to be so exact. Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated the crime rate for a decade."

"I thought we were speaking hypothetically." She'd caught me before I could catch myself. This rarely happened. I laughed in spite of myself.

"We were, should we call you Jane?" She smiled.

"How did you know?" She actually sounded surprised that I was on her trail. I looked her dead in the eyes. My conscious mind told me to stop and tell her no more, to leave now and never see her again. Maybe Jasper and Rosalie were right and it was time to move on. The scene played in my mind briefly as I considered this. In my mind I stood from the table and left without a word as she called my name from the table. The sound of her voice echoed in my mind. My nerve wavered and for the first time I was unsure whether I could leave or not. She leaned forward and whispered, "You can trust me you know." She reached forward toward my hands that lay on the table and I instinctively pulled them back slightly and she responded accordingly. I believed her words; I didn't think her capable of betrayal.

"I don't know if I have a choice anymore. I was wrong you are more perceptive than I thought."

"I thought you were always right." She observed.

"I used to be. I was wrong about something else also. You're not a magnet for accidents that's too broad of a term. You're a magnet for trouble. If there is anything dangerous within ten miles you'll find it."

"And you put yourself in that category?" Her statement brought me back to reality. She was sensing a slight amount of the danger I posed but for whatever reason she wouldn't do what instinct should be telling her to. I felt my face go cold and stern.

"Unequivocally," the acidity laced the word more than I had intended. She reached out again toward my folded hands. Again I pulled back on instinct but this time she ignored my illusiveness and found the back of my left hand. She brushed her fingertips lightly over my cold marble skin. Surely she could feel the difference between her skin and mine. Her touch sent electricity through me and warmed the skin beneath her fingers. I could have closed my eyes and let her leave us connected but my guard was up after her last statement.

"Thank you, that's twice now." Her voice was soft and it dawned on me that she was thanking me for saving her life. Her words melted my icy features and I felt my face relax.

"Let's not try to make it three shall we?" I suggested and removed my hand from underneath her touch to place them under the table on my lap, but I leaned in toward her.

"I followed you to Port Angeles. I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before. It's much more troublesome that I would have thought. But that's probably because it's you. Average people seem to be able to make it through the day without as many disasters." I waited for her to be offended or annoyed by my observation of her luck. Instead I saw a slight smile play on her lips and her heartbeat increased slightly.

"Did you ever think that maybe my number was up the first time and you've been interfering with fate?"

"That wasn't the first time," I couldn't look at her as I confessed. "Your number was up the first time I met you." It stabbed at my heart to tell her this. "Remember?"

"Yes," her voice was barely a whisper.

"And yet here you sit." The surprise escaped in my voice involuntarily. It's too easy to tell her things and it makes me too happy to do so. The further into this conversation I went the more I cornered myself.

"Yes, here I sit because of you. Because somehow you knew where to find me tonight." She didn't see me for the monster I was, she only saw that to her knowledge I have saved her life twice.

"You eat, I'll talk," she hadn't touched her food. The topic of going into shock was now far from my conscious mind. "It's harder than it should be to keep track of you. Usually I can find someone easily, once I've heard their mind before. I was keeping tabs on Jessica, not carefully, and at first I didn't notice that you weren't with them anymore. Then, when I realized you had taken off on your own I went looking for you at the bookstore I saw in her mind. I could tell you hadn't gone in and that you'd gone south and I knew you would turn around soon. I was just waiting I expected you to come right back the way you'd gone. I was just randomly listening to people's thoughts for someone who had seen you. I didn't have any reason to worry but I was anxious. I started to drive in circles listening. I was about to get out and follow you on foot again once the sun had set. Then…" The image from the stocky dark man flooded into my mind. His intentions played out before me and the fury found me again. She urged me on so I continued. "I heard what they were thinking. I saw your face in his mind." I had to cover my eyes with my hand as I leaned on my elbow. The images were too graphic and too easy to believe. Bella's still lifeless body was something I couldn't bear to see.

"It was very hard, you have no idea how hard, to just take you away and leave them alive. I could have let you go with Angela and Jessica but I was afraid if you left me alone I would go looking for them." The images I saw now were of myself as the green monster taking my vengeance on the monsters who would have hurt Bella. I struggled to regain my composure before I looked up at her. "Are you ready to go home?" I asked her, giving myself an out.

"I'm ready to leave." She affirmed. The waitress appeared and asked me how we were. I asked her for our check with the money already in my hand. I slipped the bill into the leather case and handed it immediately back to her. I stood and Bella followed. I thanked the waitress and Bella and I headed for the door. We went straight to my car in silence. I opened the passenger door and she slid inside. I went to the driver's side and follow suit. I flicked the engine to life and turned the heat on in case Bella was cold. The urge to take care of her was unusual and unexpected but instinctual. I pulled out into traffic at my usual speed.

"Now, it's your turn," I said pointedly.


End file.
